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[textualhealing]

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(For all MoM, PSL and random needs. Previous found here.)

Comments

[textualhealing]

I'd return the offer but apparently you're a total pussy over hovercars so....

[cuff]

Never said I wouldn't get in one so... you just keep up the asshole schtick. Sides, all I need is an address and i'll swing by whenever.

[textualhealing]

Is this the part where you find out where I live so you can throw eggs at the door or whatever?

[cuff]

I was gonna go for your solid teepeeing- Fraser'd ask too many questions bout the eggs and that boat doesn't need rockin.

[textualhealing]

Ouch, yeah. Dudley Do-Right isn't gonna be too big on the destruction of property thing. I mean, I'd say go for the teepee route, but it's not even my house, I'm renting a room from a buddy and his wife. Can't even give you my work address 'cause that's a rented office too. But I could give you the address to an office of a guy I know who deserves a good teepee. I'll even come help.

[cuff]

So what, you wanna go on a road trip to go teepee some guys office? Thought you'd go and take me for something better 'n that.

[textualhealing]

What, you're after a date?!

[cuff]

Uh yeah, gross- head outta the candlelit dinner, buddy. I'm after your toilet paper. You bring it, I bring the best getaway car you'll ever step foot in.

[textualhealing]

Shouldn't we be saving this for halloween?

[cuff]

You never heard of random acts of uh- y'know, when the... ? [ Uh. UH!! ] Vandalism. Right.

Won't mean shit by Halloween, but hey, have it your way. Car's around whenever, unless you wanna wait for a holiday for that, too.

[textualhealing]

Ugh, no, fine. We'll do it before halloween.

[cuff]

No see, now you ruined it with all your enthusiasm there. I'm going back to the egging without you.

[textualhealing]

Lame. Where you gonna egg?

[cuff]

There's perks to bein a cop, y'know. I can find an address.

[textualhealing]

Hopefully not mine. It's guarded by raccoons.

[cuff]

Then they'll have leftovers.

[textualhealing]

Point. They'll be able to clean up pretty quick.

[cuff]

Better live it up, then. [ like he'd even egg your place jfc he isn't a child. he's mature. like a teenager. ] So look, you find some public place I'll pick you up at, give you a drive in a real car, then kick you out wherever you wanna go.

Deal?

[textualhealing]

What if I want to go to New Mexico? Can we drive there from Florida?

[cuff]

I dunno if you'd survive that long in a car with me. Something'd explode before we got there.

[textualhealing]

I can think of better road trip buddies, you're right.

[cuff]

I'd forget your snacks at the gas station. Just for fun.

[textualhealing]

I'd spill coffee on your upholstery.

[cuff]

i drive around a wolf for kicks, you think I haven't had worse?