Nah, I'm still drinking by myself, sad and alone. But at least now I have the money to get a friend drunk too. Although, uh, I might've kinda replaced you in other ways... [Just mildly guilty about getting himself another bodyguard security type.]
[Dang, man. Don't make this harder than it already is.] Well. I had to find someone to watch my back while you weren't around. Got a kid who lives at Will's who seemed keen. But he's got other stuff to do too! I totally still need someone to fill in the gaps.
[Mike should be happy about this. He knows he should be. Seeing less of Weird Guy Jeff, oh boy! But Jeff got a kid to do his job. A kid. Why is it always a kid? Man, he can't let this keep happening.]
[He's almost hesitant to answer for a second there, but this is Mike. Plus literally anyone could show up at Jeff's office and find out easily.]
Grey. He's a good kid. Loyal too. But nothing and no one compares to your level of enthusiasm and dedication, Mike. [You don't even need to see him to know there's the most smirkiest of smirks. So proud of his own sarcasm.]
Grey. Don't know him. Don't know any Greys. [Just a White and a Pink.] I'm sure he is a good kid. Part of Will's family and all. Probably smart, too, right?
[It's like he didn't even hear that bit about his enthusiasm and dedication. What a waste of quality sarcasm.]
I bet... [Grumble grumble smart people grumble.] No, I don't need work. Got plenty of work. Never liked havin' to go through the Porters to get to a job, anyway.
[Mike hears that sulky tone and raises Jeff a sulky huff.]
To see if I still had a job! Which I obviously don't 'cause- 'cause you want me to play second... uh... shit, what's that one, uh... instrument thing? Second whatever that thing is! To a kid! Fuck that, I'm not doin' that anymore. I'm better than any dumb smart kid! I've got experience and really cool powers!
Way to go yourself! [A+ comeback.] You would've gotten that kid even if the god machine hadn't kicked me! That's what happens. That's how it goes. Everybody always gets somebody else, some kid.
But hey! I wonder how your clients would feel about runnin' into a shady guy on their way to your office?
[A pause, mostly so his eyes can roll out of his head. Bye eyes. It gives Jeff the chance to think briefly before snapping back a bitchy retort, at least. Friends are good, arguments are healthy, but hugging it out is even better.]
Okay, so clearly this isn't just about working for me. You got some problem here. What's up, Mike? They replace you back home?
[There's a pause on his end, too. How dare Jeff ignore a perfectly good threat. How. Dare. Barely audible foot stomp for good measure. And then stillness.]
I'm not lying to you. And even if I was you wouldn't know because I'm an exceptional liar. [So smug.]
The kid's more interested in how the TV show works. I want him behind the scenes of that, not stuck threatening and intimidating any that get too close.
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... Yeah, uh... Okay? [Deadish back home??? But, you know, that shit happens.] Been okay.
[Pause.]
How have you been? Besides alive...
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[Also some mushy happy family stuff, but discussing that is as gross as talking about feelings]
I probably got enough now that I could even spare you a few drinks.
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[Mike should be happy about this. He knows he should be. Seeing less of Weird Guy Jeff, oh boy! But Jeff got a kid to do his job. A kid. Why is it always a kid? Man, he can't let this keep happening.]
Who is this kid?
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Grey. He's a good kid. Loyal too. But nothing and no one compares to your level of enthusiasm and dedication, Mike. [You don't even need to see him to know there's the most smirkiest of smirks. So proud of his own sarcasm.]
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Grey. Don't know him. Don't know any Greys. [Just a White and a Pink.] I'm sure he is a good kid. Part of Will's family and all. Probably smart, too, right?
[It's like he didn't even hear that bit about his enthusiasm and dedication. What a waste of quality sarcasm.]
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Yeah. Smarter than you or I, I bet. You looking for any work, Mike?
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[The most special and mature of snowflakes.]
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To see if I still had a job! Which I obviously don't 'cause- 'cause you want me to play second... uh... shit, what's that one, uh... instrument thing? Second whatever that thing is! To a kid! Fuck that, I'm not doin' that anymore. I'm better than any dumb smart kid! I've got experience and really cool powers!
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Seriously? You're jealous that I had to get someone else? Way to go, man.
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Way to go yourself! [A+ comeback.] You would've gotten that kid even if the god machine hadn't kicked me! That's what happens. That's how it goes. Everybody always gets somebody else, some kid.
But hey! I wonder how your clients would feel about runnin' into a shady guy on their way to your office?
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Okay, so clearly this isn't just about working for me. You got some problem here. What's up, Mike? They replace you back home?
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Sure did.
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I'm not replacing you, Mike. The kid was just doing this as a favor for my sorry ass. I still need you.
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Bull. Think I'm gonna fall for your lies.
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I'm not lying to you. And even if I was you wouldn't know because I'm an exceptional liar. [So smug.]
The kid's more interested in how the TV show works. I want him behind the scenes of that, not stuck threatening and intimidating any that get too close.
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Well, guess you better hope Will's got a dangerous kid to lend you to do all the threatenin' and intimidatin', then!
[Sulky and dumb is such an unfortunate combination.]
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Or you could come back and do that for me.
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[Time to get super drunk and hope Walt White doesn't have a power that lets him murder people through the communicators...]
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