textualhealing | IC CONTACT

Yeah whatever. You're welcome. What's the deal with Chilton? Why don't you want fic on him?

Are you just curious or is this going to influence later decisions should you return to your love affair with shitty fanfics?

Just curious. Stop with the paranoia.

Requesting clarification is different from paranoia. One is crucial to understanding, one can prevent it.

[What he means is, his answer is based solely on Jeff's motivation. Go figure.]

How much do you know about what happened back where he and I come from?

Pretty much nothing.

It's not really a conversation meant for this platform.

[Except it is, it so is, because it's easier to hide then. It's easier for Jeff to hide. But while Will can respect the desire and the comfort in being able to hide, there is a tug that doing this as such wouldn't be quite so polite. Not when he lives with the man. Not when they'll see each other later, possibly. There is disrespect, were he to do this in such a format. There is a sense of rudeness, even of dishonor that Will feels bubbling up.

Sometimes dragging things out in the light isn't easy, but that's how life is.]

We could go out for lunch today. Or run off to dinner after work. Leave everyone else to fend for themselves.

[Jeff may note his options revolve around food, in public, this time instead of simple drinks, tucked away in privacy. Such Serious Business.]

[Obviously something of interest happened, that's for sure. Jeff's own life can be described easily enough over text so what's so special about these guys...]

Lunch is fine. I can take a long lunch, joys of being self-employed.

[A couple of somethings.]

Great. I'll meet you at your office.

[And there's Jeff, at his office!

Decked out in a fancy suit with a glass of whiskey at his elbow, he looks to be doing zero work right now. Probably because he's not. Because work blows. Drinking booze and playing on his phone is a way better use of his time.]

[Will isn't quite up to suit standards but he does come around in something more professional. He's even wearing a tie, for God's sake. Jeff might hear a bit of chatter outside his office, probably expected it. There's no phone sex or work sex to be had, though, and Will slips in through the door after a quick knock shortly after with the tiniest smile on his face.

...and a bag of food. Apparently someone revised the whole going out plan, if only because once he thought about it, keeping Jeff somewhere that was his felt a better idea. Public had its advantages, but this was public and private, and Will figured it was just more palatable this way.]

Hope you don't mind. Most everywhere was already packed, had people waiting at the doors. Figured this would be easier.

[He gently puts the bag on Jeff's desk, dragging up a chair to sit closer than any appointment. There are choices, he may not be surprised to find. Two full meals of Chinese take out (one marked with VEG) and a salad that's geared towards protein and iron-rich foods. Will already gave April hers, so Jeff can have his choice of super healthy or not quite as super healthy and the other will definitely get eaten later. By someone.]

[There's really no need for the knock, not when Jeff's already got half his attention drifting to the doorway the second he hears another voice outside of it. He'd recognise that quiet tone anywhere, and because he's a totally welcoming buddy, he even slides his phone away as Will enters.]

Good call. I'll get the next lunch. [He decides, perfectly grateful at the decision making that was made without him if only because it involves him not having to go out and deal with crowds of people.

The salad is picked (of course) and he pulls it towards him, nodding his appreciation as he opens it up and inspects.]

How's work? [Small talk is what adults do. Apparently.]

[Totally welcoming buddy, indeed, and that's returned. Will notes the choice but doesn't draw attention to it, no lingering stares. He simply opens his own box of vegetarian take out, rips open the plastic-wrapped utensils with his teeth like an uncultured heathen who's never once in his life been at a fancy dinner parties where knowing which fork and spoon went with which part of the meal was a thing. Look at him, so normal, so typical, so plain and unassuming. They could be sitting around at the house for how at ease Will is playing this off as, ready to eat over his lap and everything.

Then Jeff goes and asks that, eroding an already taut and unsteady thread of Will's resolve. He stares for a moment, gives a laugh that's harsh, bitter, completely mirthless, and then stares down at his food as he stirs it and shrinks a bit into the chair.]

Tolerable. [Which is where Will sometimes draws the line, no matter how bad an idea that is.] Pays the bills. Don't have to do as much side work to cover everything. You could say it's good, really.

[Compared to back home, it's paradise. For now.]

You know Doctor Chilton was an administrator at a hospital for the criminally insane back in our Baltimore, don't you?

[An easy in, and, of course, an in that steers to Chilton more than himself, followed by shoving a big chunk of broccoli in his mouth and staring at Jeff's collar instead of his eyes.]

[Jeff's own manners are non existent too, matching the teeth ripping and the food shoving so effectively that he's practically mirroring the actions. It pays to play mirror, to try and put others at ease with similarities and solidarity, even if Jeff would have just as likely eaten like this without Will's encouragement.

It's only after he almost chokes himself on a large salad leaf and washes it down with a heavy swig of scotch (drinking it down like water) that he thinks to get Will a drink, dragging out an empty glass from a desk drawer and sliding it over to his friend, gesturing lazy to the bottle on his desk.]

Yeah, I'd heard something like that. [And yet he never really finds these things out, intent as he is to never really know people. It's easier that way.]

[The sound of booze being pushed his way draws him like a fish to wriggling bait, and he gives a short nod in place of thanks (just say thank you, Will????????) as he leans forward to serve himself. Jeff may notice he fills that glass up, no pretense about just taking a moderate drink, no. In it to win it.]

He and I worked together. [Sort of...Chilton gave him work, it counts.] One of his patients murdered a nurse. Had to investigate the similarities between that and...a more notorious, sought after serial killer.

[Super casual about murder? Yes, yes he is, carefully twirling a chunk of noodle around his fork. More than is a proper mouthful but that's good, that's the purpose. Give him something to do and ground his mind from wandering to that evening with an elk head in Abel Gideon, Will picking bullets out of the wall and cleaning up any evidence Chilton had been there. Like a good dog.]

Couple months later, I went back. [He stares at that enormous forkload of food, shifting to cross an ankle over his knee.] As a patient. Incarcerated in his hospital. False accusations, but I was there for a while anyway.

[He shoves that fork in his mouth without further ado, eyes moving up to finally look Jeff in the face.]

[Will won't be getting much of a reaction, but it's there in the mildest of forms. A slight furrow to his brows and his mouth creasing downwards just a fraction is enough to display Jeff's thoughtful curiosity, his attention locked towards Will with only the occasional drift towards his salad and scotch. Got to keep well fed while gossiping.

It's hard to know how he's meant to process this information and what's expected of him. His total level of apathy should be known by now, but for the sake of friendship he has to show some level of empathy on the matter. He's definitely curious about it, letting each thread of information slowly come together to slowly create one solid tapestry of imPort drama that he's been piecing together from various 'he said she said' sources. Everyone seems to have shit going on and Jeff feels like he's stuck right in the middle of it all, totally clueless, but left holding far too many tales with no apparent relevance to each other.]

You two seem pretty friendly considering he had you in a nut house. [Such political correctness.]

[Wow, it's his life, it's not gossip, how dare. How dare.

Will assumes that despite Jeff's apathy, he might like to know if he's living with a dangerous individual who could reasonably kill and eat people, that's all. Even April had gotten the spiel, with nervousness behind it, though she'd gotten more. An ear in a sink more.

Jeff's reaction has Will quickly reaching for that glass to swallow down as fast as he can, shaking his head at the summary. No, wrong, he'll explain.]

He didn't put me there. He was doing his job. I can't hold that against him. [Because he has enough difficulty laying full blame at Hannibal's feet in his poorer moments, so he has to put up clear, precise boundaries. He'll later stumble around them, everything bleeding over and blending in, but he knows, he knows who put him there and he knows holding it against anyone else only serves to give Hannibal some leeway and that is unacceptable.] It...

[He drops his fork in his box, running a hand over his mouth as he tries to think of the least depressing way to say this. And struggles, because everything is awful in Baltimore.]

...could've been worse.

[That is not the face of a happy Will. In fact, every single shift and pitch points towards a man that would really rather discuss anything else than this. Jeff's not even entirely against a subject change, but curiosity does have the better of him and if Will feels this is something should be spoken about, then he has to take that judgement as right. It might help Jeff to understand more of what's going on behind he scenes anyway, all this paranoia from Walter that appears to make Chilton and Will out to be villains to be wary of.

As Will drags a hand across his face, Jeff takes the cue to reach for that bottle of scotch and top up his friend's glass without question. It's Jeff's way of saying he's here and he's listening, even if he doesn't quite understand.]

So. He's more like family then? Not quite someone you'd maybe choose as a friend, but they're there anyway. Family. The kind you'd wanna defend with your life and beat the shit out of at the same time? [It might be that Jeff's idea of family is a little skewed, but he doesn't have much experience with it.] You seem pretty quick to have his back.

[Will glances to that drink with a hint of a smile, one that vanishes entirely under his fingers as he drags them off his face, pulling his lips down at this whole idea of family. And how strangely accurate it is. Minus Will wanting to beat the shit out of him, really, that's never a good idea. But he gets the message just the same, glances to the corner of the room like some godly figure will intervene, and then back to the take out in his lap.]

That's a good way to think of it, yes. You could say we're blood brothers of a sort. [An unhappy sort, judging by Will's tone and the exasperated way one arm flops along the armrest, but what's new. Baltimore is a land filled with misery.] Easter dinner was just April, him, and me...guess that's answer enough, isn't it?

I get it. He's from back home. That makes a big difference. There's a kind of solidarity to it, of living through the same sort of crap and having the same familiarity with somewhere. [Jeff would be tempted to attach himself to virtually anyone from back home if the arrived here, even if they were a constant annoyance.]

He's an okay guy anyway. I mean, I assume, from what I've seen. If he is likely to murder me in my sleep then you don't need to worry too much about warning me, I'll just come back and make the little asshole's life pure misery. [What he's really trying to say is that he's okay with it all, that he doesn't mind the defensive stance and the friendship status with Fred. Winger would do exactly the same.]

[His eyes flick up, expression grim—it's rare for him to have this returned, the I get it. On less personal, normal, everyday things? Sure. But this strikes closer to home, literally and metaphorically, and Will is very familiar with only having one person to reveal his heart to (even if he fudged what he revealed) and how Hannibal had worked it so eventually it felt like only he mattered. Just him, even as the hand that reached out to help was covered in blood and would cover itself with Will's blood should he make a wrong move.

And Jeff doesn't have anyone from his world, but he must...he must be able to realize that if he did, even a fractured bond would be worth chasing after. If he's going for humor with the murder mention, though, it has the opposite effect. Will's shoulders tense as he takes a sharp breath, jaw clenched, shaking his head after a moment.]

He wouldn't. [Taut, like everything else about him. At least Jeff won't chase Chilton through the snowy woods behind Will's house and arrest him. There is that.] I wouldn't, either, the warning isn't...there's nothing to warn about.

[Abigail's presence will one day ask why Will had to lie, and lie, and just keep lyng. He won't have the best answer. Fortunately, Abigail isn't here right now to call him out on the lie in that simple statement.]

April knows. [There's a reason Jeff sometimes get a bit of hostility when he jokes around in ways that could implicate Will as a shitty husband. It's this, all of this, this baggage that drags him down. There's enough on his mind to make him think he's not worthy of her, in his worst moments, spiking the worry other people see it, too, isn't something he enjoys.] Probably should have given you a head's up earlier. But they don't make etiquette guides for how to tell your friends and the people who live with you that your world knows you best as the guy who murdered and ate all those people until two months later when you were the guy who didn't.

[And then he shuts his mouth, lips pursed as he watches Jeff carefully.

Is he still going to be such a cool bro? Will can only hope.]

[Jeff does get it. He gets a whole lot of it. Maybe he doesn't quite get the psychotic serial killing cannibal side of it, but that's really for the best if he never gets that at all. It's the total unfamiliarity with friendship that he relates to more than anything. Before his late return to college, he wouldn't have been able to identify a single 'friend' in his life. He'd focused on himself, kept others at a distance at the cost of never actually connecting socially beyond smiles and charm. Sure, he could be the life of the party and the guy everyone spoke to, but he was still the person returning home alone with no one to reach out to.

It took a crash course in sudden friendship and years of trial and error to really understand what it meant to have people there for you, to have someone who'd stand by you through thick and thin and defend you no matter what. Maybe Chilton wasn't that for Will, but he was something tangible that kept him grounded in reality and that must be worth something.

As far as he can figure there isn't much for him to think about here. Will's revelation doesn't change anything. It's still Will, the guy who climbed through his window that one night, the guy who openly accepted Jeff into his household with no jdudgement, and the guy who's just as happy to chat about dumb crap as he is to sit in silence in front of the TV.

His brows crease downwards in light consideration, but the single shouldered shrug depicts his inner monologue easily enough.]

Fine by me. [The most eloquent.] What you did or didn't do back home isn't really my business, it's what you do here and now that I'm interested in. [So try not to get arrested for serial killing while here, kthx.]

But look. Answer me one question that uh, I can't get overly elaborate with... [A pause like he's waiting for approval but then goes ahead anyway because screw manners.] If I'd maybe heard from someone that Chilton- and I guess to some extent yourself- can be pretty dangerous especially in the psychiatric field... should I be worried? I trust you enough not to screw me over, but where would this kinda news be coming from? How can Chilton scare anyone? The guys a snake at best. Unless someone's super creeped out by snakes...

[Ah, Jeff. Delightful Jeff. Master of understatements and whiplash, he gives Will a world of relief and then takes it away entirely. Like the tide, washing up over his feet, salty and cool, only to pull back and leave him feeling exposed, cold, wet, vulnerable, empty, naked.

Who's he been talking to, Will wonders. Though he has little wondering to do, he realizes. He also realizes that Jeff's already put up a boundary with that whole I can't get overly elaborate with bit. Does he want to smash that down? If it's Walter White he's been in discussion with, then confessing to that may later put Jeff at risk. Will's already in line to wear the target on his back instead of Chilton, he knows how to pull the trigger on a gun without hesitation, where to aim for what he needs...but Jeff?

Does he want to tear down that wall and risk putting Jeff in danger?

A moment's pause, brow furrowed, a not-quite frown on his face.

No, he decides. He'll leave it be. For now, he can work without making more of a mess than things already are.

For now.

Jeff gives him no relief and Will spares giving him that in return. No this for that, not today.]

He ran a home for the criminally insane. [Flat facts, Will tasting the information as he spins it, as he looks for all the world like he's trying to figure out where such information could come from.] That's, you must understand, a building full of the worst humanity has to offer. Had to install a line for therapists to sit behind because patients would urinate on them, for God's sake. It's a harsh environment to be in, you can't...get away with it if you don't adapt to your surroundings. He wouldn't have made it as far as he has if he couldn't deal with danger in some capacity. Neither would I. I suppose that's scary, to some people. Pull through a mess of blood and bone and keep going, confident instead of broken. Easy to start projecting dangers in places they aren't.

[Jeff has never shown a trace that he'd be glad to murder, again and again, in fantastic ways. Nothing that would make a good story, he isn't a prize patient. He should be just fine, save Chilton's general ability to poke and prod and get under the skin, to the root of the matter.]

I can't think of any reason for you to be worried about him, no.

[Liking Jeff is like a slap in a face, that's for sure, but he doesn't ever try to hide that fact. He's perfectly content to smooth the situation and throw in a right hook seconds later, it can't be helped. Perhaps it's the lawyer in him that insists on digging and twisting and never letting things settle.

At least he listens to Will's reply, poking at his salad idly without ever actually taking a bite. It's difficult to process what he knows and what he's learning, trying to judge every piece of information that's been slowly trickle fed to him and put it all together. Each side tells a different story, but isn't that always the way? And if he truly had to trust anyone, he imagines it'd be the guy he's sharing food with rather than the paranoid meth lord filling his bank.]

So maybe he's done some shit. Maybe you have too. I sure as hell have... Did you know I killed a guy's dad? [A thoughtful squint towards Will and a slow smile that suggests maybe it's not an awful murder but it's information sharing and Will's already shared so much.] He was old as balls. Like literally must have been a hundred or something. I made him have a heart attack.

[Yes, you have sits on the tip of Will's tongue. But he knows his memory is exceptional, remarkable. He knows that it's possible Jeff forgot and is attempting to open up instead of, what? Putting himself on the same level of fucked up and dangerous that Will is perceived as by some, even if it's not Jeff?

He's stares, openly, before he takes another sip of his drink and starts back in on his food, mirroring the poking-not-yet-eating of his companion.]

How'd you do that?

[Like he's never heard this before. Brand new information that Will doesn't seem a single bit perturbed by. He isn't.]

Sneak up on him and say boo? Tell him his son knocked up some girl and refused to make an honest woman out of her?

[Tell him your dirty, masterful tactics for murder, friend.]

[Not everyone can have a memory like Will's. Especially when their name is Jeff and he's not paying attention to things about 99% of the time. That and it's literally his only murder claim to fame. Sorry, bro, we can't all be that experienced in serial killing. Jeff sure could talk about some fucked up shows and movies he's seen though!]

Shouted at him for being an asshole of a father. [There's plenty of daddy issues here. Shrug!]

What I'm getting at is I don't really care. I mean. I care about what you want me to care about, but if you tell me all this isn't important? Then that's it. Done. I'm not gonna ask any more. You're a good guy, Will, I like you. I even like Chilton for some unknown reason that I doubt I'll ever understand. [Because srsly, that dude is annoying as hell.] So maybe some of the crap you've both got up to isn't entirely above board, but you're speaking to a lawyer. I've probably been responsible for more deaths than I'd like to think about. I get people off the hook and back on the streets and maybe some of them really shouldn't be in public. Am I proud of it? Not entirely. But it's my job and I'm damn good at it, and I am proud of that.

IC CONTACT

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

action?!

always

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)